8/15/2024 more blues Click Here
hello! gonna dump some sad feelings on here so you can probably just skip this. over the weekend i was able to hang out with my gf which is always nice and lovely but some stuff happend and its now a whole mess which is awful. we had a hotel over the weekend and the plan was just to be together with each other away from everything bc my gf has been having a really rough time with work/friend group/home life. we were both really excited to just have the weekend to get away and relax from it all, but that didn't end up happening unfortunately. Friday was fine tho, we got to the hotel and rested for a bit before going out for dinner and then just spending the night with each other. saturday was a different story, i got caught with some type of stomach bug/constipation so i constantly had to wake up and use the bathroom so i didn't get much sleep at all...and that made my gf feel bad since i wasn't able to get much rest like we planned. then throughout the day i kept going to the bathroom because i just had to go yk :p but unintentionally i made her feel really alone and abandoned (which are feelings that she has been feeling the past couple of weeks) that + her feeling guilty that i wasn't able to rest just made her really really depressed.
i just feel really guilty myself for ruining the weekend for us. of course i couldn't control my health, but i feel guilty that i wasn't able to see how much i was affecting her. i knew how much she was looking forward to this and how much she needed me, needed a break from everything and yet i just didn't provide that for her. im just frustrated with myself and with how i treated her. my gf isn't upset with me and she also doesn't want me to blame myself and im trying my best not to...its just difficult. seeing her be so depressed is horrible and also knowing that theres a timeline out there where that didn't happen because i was more attentive to her and her feelings breaks my own heart. i love her with my whole heart but actions i do + her environment push her towards self-harm and i just don't know what to do with myself either. i know that i need to be here for her and present with her, but my own mind has to grapple with what im feeling about this past weekend too. im going to try to see her after work today just so that i know that she's doing well and so we can talk for a bit.
whooooooooooooooo i feel so estatic rn. I just finished setting up the content page and it feels so goooood because i just feel myself learning more and more everyday and making subtle tweaks to ringojuice and its just coming together slowly but nicely. there is a bunch of more stuff i could branch out to just to enhance ringojuice visually. theres still little details that need to be buttoned up (like how to click me box isn't aligned with the center text box...) but then i have a functional and pretty good looking website.
i fixed the gallery yesterday and so now i can add as many pictures as i like, and i'm hoping to shoot some more soon. and like i said earlier i put up the first post on the content ingesting page and it looks gooooood i'm so happy.
there are some "cultural" aspects about neocities that im still figuring out i guess. like idrk what buttons are or what their purpose is lol but it is cool and i want one haha and then i see a bunch of people with logbooks and chat boxes that seems so cool and i think adds a good bit of "realism" and like ofc the website is real, i've spent lots of time trying to make it, but having those things means that other people actually do log onto ringojuice and have some sort of interaction which IS SO COOl so yeah. i gotta do some more digging and better immerse myself in the culture here which is very very exciting!!!!
hey everybody! hope everything is going okay with you all. i'm just kinda chilling. i'm at work right now and have just been working on this website haha. just today i opened up the gallery and hopefully the start of the blog. im also still thinking about what to add to the website. i was looking at a bunch of other sites and they're all so cool!! currently, i have thoughts about adding a section for writing some of my dnd stuff, figuring out how to put in games i'm playing, cars i like, and sharing my monthly spotify playlist. kinda using neocities/ringojuice as a big multimedia public journal with different sections for different parts of my life
so far, i'm finding that html & css is really fun! i have some coding knowledge through stuff i learned in school, but going into computer engineering i think it would be cool to get a head start and learn some type of coding language. i have been going through the css tutorials, looking through the neocities reddit, and just trying to figure out how other people do code their websites and its been a bit of a challenge but its been super fun.
if anybody knows how to fix the gallery page and have it so that if forms a better looking grid please let me knowwww
oh also on twelve men's gallery when you hover over their pictures, they get bigger, which is so cooooool and if anybody knows how to do that also let me know heh